Advertising slogans target the general population, which my children are apparently not a part of.
“Melts in your mouth, not in your hands” (M&M’s)
Actually they melt in your hands, all over your face, all over your clothes, in your car-seat and in your hair.
“Diamonds are forever” (De Beers)
If you think that your precious first-born deserves to wear tiny diamond studs (yes, I did), then you deserve to lose aforementioned studs forever.
“Please don’t squeeze the Charmin” (Charmin)
Mr. Whipple would be pissed because my kids squeeze it, shred it up into tiny pieces, eat it and toss entire rolls into the toilet.
“Got Milk?” (California Milk Processor Board/MilkPEP)
No, babies do not have their own milk supply and this is why new mothers must embrace the role of a Holstein cow.
“Come fly our Friendly Skies” (United)
When I flew with my screaming children the skies were not friendly. In fact, the environment was downright hostile.
“Sometimes you feel like a nut, sometimes you don't.” (Mounds/Almond Joy)
We feel like nuts all the time around here.