Squatters

If I had known what terrible tenants my children would be, I would have collected a security deposit. Nothing has survived their wrath. They are little walking natural disasters. Where a tornado destroys everything in its path, children destroy everything in their path and yours. In my house, the carpeting is stained, the paint is scuffed, the blinds are snapped, the hinges are broken, the furniture is scratched, and the electronics are reprogrammed in such a way that they can’t even be reset to the factory default. Wishing I could have collected a security deposit is silly considering the fact that these tenants don’t even pay the rent. They would have been evicted long before now if they had any form of currency other than hugs and kisses.