Friday, September 23, 2011

Egg on my face

I had an especially trying time with my children yesterday and I told Audrey that I needed a few minutes of alone time.  She screamed (toddler equivalent of talking) “Mommy, I want to have alone time with you” and wrapped both her arms and legs around me so that escape (or any movement) was physically impossible. I peeled her off of me, tossed her aside and began running. If I could make it into the bedroom while she was still airborne, I could lock the door and peace would be mine.

I made it into the bedroom, but it was too late. She shoved the door open with the efficiency of a battering ram, while I was fumbling stupidly with the lock. I have always been known for my MacGyver-ish resourcefulness, so I shouted “Look, there is an egg” and pointed in the direction of the living room.  An elephant or a moose probably would have been a much cooler distraction than an egg, but as mentioned before, I needed a break and cleaning up pretend elephant dung or baking muffins for a pretend moose in the pretend forest was not on my agenda. Commitment to a pretend egg is much easier because you can just sit on the couch and pretend to eat it.

Anyhow, Audrey fell for the guise and glanced in the other direction. I took the opportunity and ran into the bathroom. I quietly shut the door behind me, cursing the tiny squeaks of the hinges, and huddled on the bath mat in the dark. I was truly enjoying my “alone time”, which could have elevated to “spa time” if I’d hidden in the bathtub instead of crouching on the bath mat, when I heard soft footsteps outside the door.

Audrey knocked and said the only phrase that could cause me to abandon my sanctuary “Mommy, I have to pee-pee”.  How did she know that would work? I unlocked the door and she joined me in the bathroom. “Mommy, I love alone time with you”. My heart melted a little and I said “Audrey, I love alone time with you, too. Let’s go see if we can make an omelet and find a hungry moose”.


  1. They totally can melt your heart,can't they??

  2. Yes! They are smarter than their years, too! Audrey has recently started saying "I love you, Mommy" before asking for something that she wants. Stinker!