Never say never

I cannot count the number of times I saw parents with unruly children and thought to myself “My kids will NEVER do that!” One of the great talents of all children is that they make liars out of their parents.

Tall tale: My kids will never run amuck in a public place of any kind.

Terrible truth: I am seriously contemplating leashes because the only way to prevent my kids from running amuck in public places is to not go to public places.

Tall tale: My lifestyle will never change because of my children.

Terrible truth: What lifestyle?

Tall tale: Why do people just let their babies scream on planes?!? I will NEVER do that.

Terrible truth:  I “let” my baby scream for an entire flight while I rocked her, walked the aisle, sang to her, and nursed her.

Tall tale: I will never buy my child a toy or snack to encourage good behavior.

Terrible truth: Technically speaking, this is true because allowing my kids to devour an entire box of animal crackers while shopping means that I am buying an empty box and not a snack or toy.

Tall tale: My kids will never eat food off of the floor! That is disgusting!

Terrible truth: “Abby, what are you eating? Where did you find that?” (spoken while in a public restroom).

Tall tale: I will never succumb to the demands of my kids.

Terrible truth: I am not the boss of me.